Putting a Price on the Priceless - Our Wounded Feeling Function
by Katharina Woodworth/Mythica Art & Vision
About a month ago, a man who is a long distance MLM (multilevel
marketing)
representative posted this at Bulletinboard.net: "My
grandmother lives out
near Palm Springs (a very hot & dry desert resort town in
Southern
California) and has a habit of always moving in the month of
August. It
wasn't until I called her to remind her that I was the one that
had helped
her move 3 times in the 115 degree Palm Springs weather and
that if she
didn't become my customer again, next time she could call her
AT&T
representative to help her move....She's been my customer now
for more than
10 years."
I personally knew a woman who was involved in another very
popular,
multinational MLM business. She was a very shy woman who worked
long hours
at her labor-intensive home-based business. Her MLM business
motivated her
to become friendly and outgoing, even making small talk in the
grocery line,
something she had never done before. Although her stint with
this MLM
business had some positive effects (helping her challenge her
fears & lack
of self-confidence in talking to strangers), she approached
everyone with
the ulterior motive of finding "downlines" and ultimately
"making a buck."
Those "uplines" who had approached her and gotten her involved
in the
business likewise displayed a self-confident & friendly front
to her. Once
involved with this MLM she was accepted into a ready-made
"family" and
supported by a circle of "friends." But their only interest in
her was in
the potential dollar signs they saw when they looked at her.
So, of course,
when she left the MLM circle, she was outcast from her
"friends".
Although both MLM examples are extreme, how many times do we
put a price on
what is priceless? How many times do we sacrifice that
much-needed time for
solitude at the beach or in the woods? How many times do we put
off time
with a loved-one in order to do more work, bring in a larger
income, or
numb-out by watching television? How much are we cherishing our
relationships and friendships, time for ourselves and our
spirits?
This phenomena is symbolically addressed by an old fairy tale,
The Handless
Maiden. The story begins with a miller who grinds his grain in
the ancient
way - laboriously turning the millstone by hand. The devil
appears and
offers to speed the process up, with much less effort required
on the
miller's part. All he wants is a small fee - whatever stands
behind the
mill. Thinking it is just the oak tree that grows behind it,
the miller
readily agrees. The devil then transforms his mill into a
mechanized one,
complete with millstones that grind grain more thoroughly than
the miller
had ever done, using water as its source of energy. The miller
is ecstatic &
relieved - he no longer has to "earn his bread" so
laboriously.
The miller has to pay the devil, so he grabs his axe in
preparation for
cutting the tree down, but the miller's daughter was what was
standing
behind the mill. The miller begs the devil to take something
else. The devil
offers to turn the mill back to what it was and call the deal
off, but the
miller is unwilling to give up his newfound freedom. The devil
takes the
axe, chops off the daughter's hands, and carries them away.
"A most terrible thing has happened! A mechanical advance has
been won at
the expense of the young feminine. This bargain is made many
times a day by
modern people. We buy a practical advance at the cost of a
feeling value
every time we give up our trip to the gym, some weekend
camping, or agree to
more commuting on the freeway, in exchange for some practical
goal....We are
from a long line of millers and the infection is deep. Many
times a day in a
modern life the young feminine pays the price, a further
amputation, when
one makes a devil's bargain and believes one can get something
for nothing."
(Robert Johnson from The Fisher King & The Handless Maiden)
My mother raised me with the constant underlying message of the
necessity of
my needing to earn an income. Not just earning an income in a 9
to 5 sort of
way, but she was anxious unless I was working hard at something
that was
definitely profitable, and I needed to be working at it 24/7. I
could hear
disapproval between her words whenever I'd recount that I was
working at a
job, holding down classes. The only time I perceived she felt
"satisfied"
with how I was living my life was when I was holding 3 jobs and
taking 7
classes. My writing was discouraged because she didn't know how
anyone could
"make a living" off of it. To this day, I've fought off a
subconscious guilt
while doing anything that promotes my spiritual & emotional
well-being.
That much "productivity" is counterproductive. I had always
valued
friendships, art, writing, nature, spirit, daydreaming. Suffice
it to say, I
couldn't hold up the "type A" lifestyle and I am more fortunate
for it. Many
workaholics and financially wealthy people usually end up on
their deathbeds
wondering what was the meaning of it all. For, without the
"young feminine"
at the center of our lives, there is no meaning to any of it.
There is no
reason to go to the deep end of striving for material comforts
and status
when we end up empty and hollow inside. We gain the world, but
lose the
soul.
I write this after spending a couple of hours with my
significant other
meandering along a trail that winds through coastal cliffs. We
could have
kept working - he was behind in some online work & I had to
finish this
'zine, but the day was unusually sunny & I chose to honor the
sacred in
life. My life wasn't always like this - in the past, I felt
incredible guilt
for cherishing inner moments. Over the past few years, I've
made resolutions
to myself to put down the work, shut off the computer, walk (as
opposed to
driving the car), play with my cats, rather than "keeping my
nose to the
grindstone." I have to admit, I don't always heed my own
advice. I often
relapse, spending countless hours in front of the computer -
endlessly doing
- instead of taking a break and just being.
It is impossible & imbalanced to pay homage exclusively to the
"young
feminine," but since this is society's shadow, it is easy to
get caught up
in societal expectations and to shrug this off ourselves.
Remember to honor
yourself, your loved ones and what is sacred to you today.
Copyright 2000 Katharina Woodworth
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